Pervision: A Perverted Revision of "Why Sell Your Books?"
Every year, CMU gives students these reminders to sell their books. When I first read
through them, it was probably late at night, and I was in my usual hallucinatory,
sleep-deprivation-induced state. As I looked at the words, they began to change, and thus
was this Pervision born. But first...
The Original:
WHY SELL YOUR BOOKS?
- TEXTBOOKS RAPIDLY BECOME OBSOLETE!
- Continuously changing information results in the need for new editions, making existing
editions less marketable.
- GET MONEY FOR BOOKS YOU DO NEED!
- Squeeze all the value from your textbooks. Sell the books you have already used to help
buy books for next term.
- LOWER THE COST OF YOUR EDUCATION!
- Recover a portion of your textbook cost by selling them back to the bookstore when
you've finished with them.
- RECYCLING BOOKS IS A GOOD IDEA!
- They're a reusable resource. You not only help save the environment, you help other
students save as well.
- TIME IS MONEY!
- Your books will never be worth more than they are right now!
Now, simply replace every occurrence of "book" or "textbook" with
"condom" and there you have...
The...Pervision!
WHY SELL YOUR CONDOMS?
- CONDOMS RAPIDLY BECOME OBSOLETE!
- Continuously changing information results in the need for new editions, making existing
editions less marketable.
- GET MONEY FOR CONDOMS YOU DO NEED!
- Squeeze all the value from your condoms. Sell the condoms you have already used to help
buy condoms for next term.
- LOWER THE COST OF YOUR EDUCATION!
- Recover a portion of your condom cost by selling them back to the condom store when
you've finished with them.
- RECYCLING CONDOMS IS A GOOD IDEA!
- They're a reusable resource. You not only help save the environment, you help other
students save as well.
- TIME IS MONEY!
- Your condoms will never be worth more than they are right now!
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