This is the first sentence of this story. This is the second sentence. This is the
title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. This sentence
is questioning the intrinsic value of the first two sentences. This sentence is to inform
you, in case you haven't already realized it, that this is a self-referential story, that
is, a story containing sentences that refer to their own structure and function. This is a
sentence that provides an ending to the first paragraph.
This is the first sentence of a new paragraph in a self-referential story. This sentence
is introducing you to the protagonist of the story, a young boy named Billy. This sentence
is telling you that Billy is blond and blue-eyed and American and twelve years old and
strangling his mother. This sentence comments on the awkward nature of the self-
referential narrative form while recognizing the strange and playful detachment it affords
the writer. As if illustrating the point made by the last sentence, this sentence reminds
us, with no trace of facetiousness, that children are a precious gift from God and that
the world is a better place when graced by the unique joys and delights they bring to it.
This sentence describes Billy's mother's bulging eyes and protruding tongue and makes
reference to the unpleasant choking and gagging noises she's making. This sentence makes
the observation that these are uncertain and difficult times, and that relationships, even
seemingly deep-rooted and permanent ones, do have a tendency to break down.
Introduces, in this paragraph, the device of sentence fragments. A sentence fragment.
Another. Good device. Will be used more later.
This is actually the last sentence of the story but has been placed here by mistake. This
is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself. As
Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself in his bed transformed
into a gigantic insect. This sentence informs you that the preceding sentence is from
another story entirely (a much better one, it must be noted) and has no place at all in
this particular narrative. Despite claims of the preceding sentence, this sentence feels
compelled to inform you that the story you are reading is in actuality "The
Metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka, and that the sentence referred to by the preceding
sentence is the only sentence which does indeed belong in this story. This sentence
overrides the preceding sentence by informing the reader (poor, confused wretch) that this
piece of literature is actually the Declaration of Independence, but that the author, in a
show of extreme negligence (if not malicious sabotage), has so far failed to include even
one single sentence from that stirring document, although he has condescended to use a
small sentence fragment, namely, "When in the course of human events," embedded
in quotation marks near the end of a sentence. Showing a keen awareness of the boredom and
downright hostility of the average reader with regard to the pointless conceptual games
indulged in by the preceding sentences, this sentence returns us at last to the scenario
of the story by asking the question, "Why is Billy strangling his mother?" This
sentence attempts to shed some light on the question posed by the preceding sentence but
fails. This sentence, however, succeeds, in that it suggests a possible incestuous
relationship between Billy and his mother and alludes to the concomitant Freudian
complications any astute reader will immediately envision. Incest. The unspeakable taboo.
The universal prohibition. Incest. And notice the sentence fragments? Good literary
device. Will be used more later.
This is the first sentence in a new paragraph. This is the last sentence in a new
paragraph.
This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the paragraph or end, depending on its
placement. This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story
itself. This sentence raises a serious objection to the entire class of self-referential
sentences that merely comment on their own function or placement within the story (e.g.,
the preceding four sentences), on the grounds that they are monotonously predictable,
unforgivably self-indulgent, and merely serve to distract the reader from the real subject
of this story, which at this point seems to concern strangulation and incest and who knows
what other delightful topics. The purpose of this sentence is to point out that the
preceding sentence, while not itself a member of the class of self-referential sentences
it objects to, nevertheless also serves merely to distract the reader from the real
subject of this story, which actually concerns Gregor Samsa's inexplicable transformation
into a gigantic insect (despite the vociferous counterclaims of other well-meaning
although misinformed sentences). This sentence can serve as either the beginning of the
paragraph or end, depending on its placement.
This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself.
This is almost the title of the story, which is found only once in the story itself. This
sentence regretfully states that up to this point the self-referential mode of narrative
has had a paralyzing effect on the actual progress of the story itself --- that is, these
sentences have been so concerned with analyzing themselves and their role in the story
that they have failed by and large to perform their function as communicators of events
and ideas that one hopes coalesce into a plot, character development, etc. --- in short,
the very raisons d'etre of any respectable, hardworking sentence in the midst of a piece
of compelling prose fiction. This sentence in addition points out the obvious analogy
between the plight of these agonizingly self-aware sentences and similarly afflicted human
beings, and it points out the analogous paralyzing effects wrought by excessive and
tortured self-examination.
The purpose of this sentence (which can also serve as a paragraph) is to speculate that if
the Declaration of Independence had been worded and structured as lackadaisically and
incoherently as this story has been so far, there's no telling what kind of warped
libertine society we'd be living in now or to what depths of decadence the inhabitants of
this country might have sunk, even to the point of deranged and debased writers
constructing irritatingly cumbersome and needlessly prolix sentences that sometimes
possess the questionable if not downright undesirable quality of referring to themselves
and they sometimes even become run-on sentences or exhibit other signs of inexcusably
sloppy grammar like unneeded superfluous redundancies that almost certainly would have
insidious effects on the lifestyle and morals of our impressionable youth, leading them to
commit incest or even murder and maybe that's why Billy is strangling his mother, because
of sentences just like this one, which have no discernible goals or perspicuous purpose
and just end up anywhere, even in mid
Bizarre. A sentence fragment. Another fragment. Twelve years old. This is a sentence that.
Fragmented. And strangling his mother. Sorry, sorry. Bizarre. This. More fragments. This
is it. Fragments. The title of this story, which. Blond. Sorry, sorry. Fragment after
fragment. Harder. This is a sentence that. Fragments. Damn good device.
The purpose of this sentence is threefold: (1) to apo- logize for the unfortunate and
inexplicable lapse exhibited by the preceding paragraph; (2) to assure you, the reader,
that it will not happen again; and (3) to reiterate the point that these are uncertain and
difficult times and that aspects of language, even seemingly stable and deeply rooted ones
such as syntax and meaning, do break down. This sentence adds nothing substantial to the
sentiments of the preceding sentence but merely provides a concluding sentence to this
paragraph, which otherwise might not have one.
This sentence, in a sudden and courageous burst of altruism, tries to abandon the
self-referential mode but fails. This sentence tries again, but the attempt is doomed from
the start.
This sentence, in a last-ditch attempt to infuse some iota of story line into this
paralyzed prose piece, quickly alludes to Billy's frantic cover-up attempts, followed by a
lyrical, touching, and beautifully written passage wherein Billy is reconciled with his
father (thus resolving the subliminal Freudian conflicts obvious to any astute reader) and
a final exciting police chase scene during which Billy is accidentally shot and killed by
a panicky rookie policeman who is coincidentally named Billy. This sentence, although
basically in complete sympathy with the laudable efforts of the preceding action-packed
sentence, reminds the reader that such allusions to a story that doesn't, in fact, yet
exist are no substitute for the real thing and therefore will not get the author (indolent
goof-off that he is) off the proverbial hook.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraphh. Paragraph. Paragraph. Paragraph.
The purpose. Of this paragraph. Is to apologize. For its gratuitous use. Of. Sentence
fragments. Sorry.
The purpose of this sentence is to apologize for the pointless and silly adolescent games
indulged in by the preceding two paragraphs, and to express regret on the part of us, the
more mature sentences, that the entire tone of this story is such that it can't seem to
communicate a simple, albeit sordid, scenario.
This sentence wishes to apologize for all the needless apologies found in this story (this
one included), which, although placed here ostensibly for the benefit of the more vexed
readers, merely delay in a maddeningly recursive way the continuation of the by-now nearly
forgotten story line.
This sentence is bursting at the punctuation marks with news of the dire import of
self-reference as applied to sentences, a practice that could prove to be a veritable
Pandora's box of potential havoc, for if a sentence can refer or allude to itself, why not
a lowly subordinate clause, perhaps this very clause? Or this sentence fragment? Or three
words? Two words? One?
Perhaps it is appropriate that this sentence gently and with no trace of condescension
reminds us that these are indeed difficult and uncertain times and that in general people
just aren't nice enough to each other, and perhaps we, whether sentient human beings or
sentient sentences, should just try harder. I mean, there is such a thing as free will,
there has to be, and this sentence is proof of it! Neither this sentence nor you, the
reader, is completely helpless in the face of all the pitiless forces at work in the
universe. We should stand our ground, face facts, take Mother Nature by the throat and
just try harder. By the throat. Harder. Harder, harder.
Sorry.
This is the title of this story, which is also found several times in the story itself.
This is the last sentence of the story. This is the last sentence of the story. This is
the last sentence of the story. This is.
Sorry.