The California Anti-Culture Page

That sounds like a pretentious title, doesn't it? So what is such a page supposed to be about?  Well, to some the opposite of "culture" is "trash culture".  But to me, "culture" is a combination of up-nosed snootiness combined with tourism--things that people act lofty about, things that drive people into your city.  And whether or not they should be this way.  This page is dedicated to things that, regardless of whether they do one or the other, are certainly not reasons I can think of to visit California.  After making a Pittsburgh Anti-Culture Page, I found that there were even more offenders in California.

 

GOING OUT OF BUSINESS

And how!  This is how you can tell a video rental store is bad--when it relies on Inflatable Technology!

 

Mrs. T's Pierogies

If you thought California's Inflatable Technology was an isolated stunt, you were sadly mistaken.  There are things like this all over the place.  I just wish I'd gotten a picture in Portland OR in 1995 when I saw the inflatable Ronald McDonald head sticking out of the McD's like Big Brother watching you pass by--and would you like that for here or to go?

 

Don't Panic!

Dunno what it is, but it was amusing.

 

Does Your Father Know

Given the reflections, one can only guess what is in here.  You see stuff like this driving down Castro St. in San Francisco.

 

rock hard

"Just like me!"

 

LUBE 4 LESS

Never forget the K-Y, baby!

 

The Cockettes

A show I think I can live without.

 

Medium Rare Records

Gee whiz, I was worried my record wouldn't be healthy if it was still pink on the inside.

 

Toilet/Mingle With Me

Two signs that shouldn't be in the same place at the same time.  My rule is, Don't Mingle When You Tinkle.

 

The Stinking Rose

Sounds good to me...?

 

Chopstix & Burger

Just a stone's throw away from home, this restaurant was too frightening for us to step inside.  Is it Chinese?  Is it a burger joint?  Does it have ice cream?  The sign says "OPEN", but nobody's home upstairs.

 

Minato Japanese Cuisine

Ter-RIB-ly Good???  I just hope the food is better than the marketing "humor".

 

When Ivy Attacks

"Help me!  I'm being devoured by greenery!"

 

When Ivy Attacks (Part II)

"No, save me first!"

 

Donuts, Chinese, Thai, Bagels...

I mean, what doesn't this place serve?

 

Denny's & Sushi

Is it sushi?  Is it Denny's?  Visit San Francisco's Japantown and find out for yourself.

 

Galactic Kadillac

Only in California can you find such car modifications.  (The creator even contacted me with his website!)  The thing is, the number of custom cars out here is orders of magnitude more than you'll find elsewhere.  Some are pristine machines with extra gleaming pipes and such, while some...

 

DUCT TAPE

...are not.  "Thank God 4 DUCT TAPE".  Gotta love it.

 

How to Cross The Road

It's like Sesame Street For Dummies!  I mean, how frigging moronic can you BE to need this???  About as dumb as a cow, I guess...coincidentally, it's right down the street from The Cow Palace near San Francisco.

 

"Casa de" WTF?!

It all centers around Casa de Fruta, proving that California really is the land of Frutas and Nutas.  This sign for Casa de Wine & Deli begins the journey into...the Casa de Twilight Zone.
Casa de Coffee in addition to Deli.
Further proof, we found the offending place itself!
And another...looks like Casa de Wine and Casa de Deli are in the same place.  Casa de milking it?
And for the sugar-inclined, Casa de Sweets.  No, unfortunately the building was not made of gingerbread.
But honestly...Casa de Pumpkin Junction???  What's yer, umm, [mal]function?  (This was late September 2002, may we assume it is only seasonal?)
And yes...the mother of all casas--I give you Casa de Motel and...

Casa de RV Park!!!!!!

By the way, I have been by Casa de RV Park, and believe me, it's like a half mile or more long and goes back as far as the eye can see...solid RVs.  They call that "camping"?  In an asphalt park?  What could be more anti-culture?

 

What, Chinese TV in your car?  Satellite phone?  What!?

Who the heck needs THREE antennas on their car???  And one of them over ten feet tall!?

Togo's is a "no go"

I hate Togo's sandwiches.  They're not particularly good, and when I worked at Geyser Networks, the unimaginative people there ordered Togo's for about 4-5 months straight, every Saturday for lunch.  Even Round Table pizza is better than Togo's, especially with such frequency.  Anyway, we saw this inflatable over a Togo's.  What the heck!?  Well, I snapped a picture.  I shouldn't laugh though; in the future everything will be made with inflatable technology.

NASCAR racing on Highway 680

I've seen a lot of strange cars out in CA, but this one was worth mentioning.  Leslie snapped a terrible picture of it, but it was nighttime so please forgive the quality.  I've enhanced the incredible airfoil on that sucker.  Is this a real race car, or is somebody just overcompensating?  I have no idea.

What's next?

Hopefully I can get more fine examples of anti-culture from the South Bay, and when I visit L.A. again..


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