With the holidays behind us, I've made some more edits to my problematic opening and am hoping this time I've nailed it.
I'd like to give a shout-out to Lisa Amowitz, who gave me some great suggestions on where my opening got too complicated or off-track. She found lots to love, but she also enabled me to fix areas that didn't readily flow from one idea to another, muddled text, and areas needing more detail.
The result was a lot of work, as I analyzed her words and soul-searched for root causes. This bit of information was too much too early. This cute turn of phrase derailed my narrative with a side thought. This other bit lost the reader in poetry. Some things to remove, many to add, and a number to rearrange.
At this point, much of the text would be familiar to her, except it's been chopped and reformed into something more cohesive. Shredited, if you will. Thanks Lisa for your help!
For other writers interested in her squirrely expertise, Lisa has opened The Choppy Shop for you.
Query time, and then back to my next book, which seems so much simpler to open.